Thursday, December 13, 2012

Birthday Blahs/Hoorahs!

Sunday. My birthday. I'll be 32. That's spelled THIRTY-TWO! Am I the only one that it is bothering? My body fell apart when I hit 30. Just like everyone said it would. All those years I had hoped those folks were lying, but they weren't. I start my day with 4 ibuprofen. I pop 4 ibuprofen at lunchtime. I throw back 4 ibuprofen at bedtime. That's a bad sign. My birthday is 9 days before Christmas. It always lands on a Christmas office party day or some day a large debt is due by. I realize that I am sounding like a pessimist. That's not me. I am very rarely down in the dumps.  But I am feeling the need to name some reasons why I should be happy about turning 32. And the survey says:

   Birthdays rain presents. You get to constantly say"Ohh, for me!? You shouldn't have!"

  It's the perfect justification for those new pair of shoes. Hey, you deserve to treat yourself to a present. Or two. Or five. Whatever. No one is counting. Bills can wait!  It's my birthday!

   Tummy, thighs, butt, legs, and chin, say hello to my caloric friend. Frosting.  


    Another year older should mean another year wiser. Of course, the obligatory word here is should. 

    I can suck all of the helium out of my birthday balloons and sing myself happy birthday like a champ.
 
 I will be able to sport a perma-grin the entire day.

 
Now steaming through my third decade,  I don’t have to make the bloopers I made in my teens and twenties. (But I was kinda fun then too - maybe I still will on purpose this time)

With years of practice comes true skill. For instance, I don't have to use recipes to cook and I know how to soothe a baby without looking in a book for clues.

I can be silly and giggly ALL DAY. It’s a day that no one is going to mind if I sing, blow bubbles, frolic and dance or just laugh a lot. I can be kid. But I can enjoy acting like a kid as a grownup.

 Facebook. That's right. Friends, non-friends, strange dude I saw one time at wal-mart and yahoos I don't even know, blowing up my wall with HBD. For a second there, I almost forgot what a notification was. Thumbs up to everyone for making me feel cool on my birthday.

KIDS/HUSBAND - For one day I actually do get to be the Queen. I tease them about this rank all year, but on December 16th - they really do fun things for me. Nothing royal, but then again that's ok, because I never did like the color purple.

Girlfriends! Ahhhh I love my girlfriends! There is no better therapy! I have no doubt that they will surround me with gag gifts, tons of food and pranks! Inappropriate memories!  I can't wait!

OK, I've talked myself right out of dreading my birthday now. BRING IT ON THIRTY-TWO!




 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Santa Strategies

Today is December 6, 2012. My children do not have the first Christmas present bought for them by us (the parents) yet. We're feeling a financial crunch this month. So, this year, we did not ask our children what they wanted for Christmas, we just observed and listened and feel pretty confident that we can please them. The worst moment happened for us when we took the kids to the movies! We "accidentally" ran into Santa at Malco. He was strategically and annoyingly sitting right beside the side that we had to walk down in order to get to our movie. OF COURSE HE WAS! Crap! I was in full blown panic mode! I was like "oh yay boys, it's Santa - but slurring mumbling word in my head! I was thinking, ok - we'll just get a quick picture and it will be ok. But NOOOO. Santa had to open his big mouth and say "HO HO HO, well boys what do you want for Christmas?" I had the Ghost of Nausea upon me! I kept thinking, Santa - HOW DARE YOU!?!?! I have a quiet system that's working for me thus far - it's none of your business what they want! YOU ARE NOT THE ONE THAT PAYS FOR IT!!! My boys also looked at me like "Ummm, is it ok to say something here, mama?" I gave them a good fake-smile nudge that it's ok to speak despite the fact that I'm about to crumble this popcorn all up in Santa's beard! Blake was the only one that spoke. He said "well, I guess all I want is REST!" I laughed on the inside and was thinking "HECK YES! I CAN AFFORD THAT!" Santa just belly-laughed and said "HO HO HO HA HA HA I don't think anyone's ever asked for that. I politely said "Kids, just get a candy-cane and let's go - we're going to miss the movie!" PHEW! CLOSE CALL! Freaking Santa and his nerve!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My First Blog

Today is the day I will begin blogging. I just have too much to say! There are just too many statuses I would like to elaborate on that I post on facebook - that may not all be facebook appropriate. So, let's give this blogging hobby a chance! I am like an onion. I have many layers (and not just meaning all my fat rolls) I have many layers of my personality. My favorite thing to do is laugh until I pee, and then laugh because I'm peeing.

 My life is complex, but it's mine! I have been married to my main squeeze for 12 years. Together, we have 3 boys. That's right, folks! I said ALL BOYS - 3 OF THEM! That alone brings it's own layers to my personality! I always have a lot to say and it's usually because of my boys! I am the Queen of my castle. God didn't think I needed to share it with any princesses, so I make sure all the boys know that I am royalty! By that, I mean I am usually a royal pain! But, I get my point across. 


 I have a great family, and I am very proud of all of my many blessings that came to my life in human form. My parents are the greatest! My brothers and I are very close, and they have fabulous girls that they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with! and I cherish all of my relationships with my family. We are good at creating memories and being there for each other! That's what all good families do, right?

 I have the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for. I know what you're thinking! Everyone thinks that they have the greatest friends. But, that's just because they have never met mine!
We only get one chance in this life. No do-overs. This life is not a rough draft, it's our only shot at leaving a legacy. 

I have so many fun stories to share with y'all! Hope you continue to follow my blog!